Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
