ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
