Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
