Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
