I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
