what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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