That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
