If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
