you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
