I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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