I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
