My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
