He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
