so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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