Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
