Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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