I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
