mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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