we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
