Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Tell her she can't have a vagina
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
