i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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