Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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