I am puke
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
