Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
