u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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