At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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