I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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