the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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