she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
