Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
