Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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