From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
