The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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