I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
