I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
