WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
