Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
