That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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