I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
