He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
