Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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