I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
