Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
