Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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