I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
