Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
