If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
