if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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