Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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