Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize