I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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