She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
