I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
