she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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